Sometimes, it’s Ugly

Far too often I am not slow to speak, and spew my ugliness not even realizing how ugly I’m being till I hear it. Like the other morning. Lincoln hasn’t been sleeping good at night. Ever since his breathing issues started, which are now better, but his sleeping is not. I’m so used to be awaken through the night I don’t even think about it much, it’s just become the new normal.

But, last night I stayed up too late because, well, the hours when the kids are all asleep and I can be with Josh and actually have a conversation without being interrupted a million times, or just go to the bathroom alone, or without rushing to make sure Landon isn’t sitting on the baby or to just do whatever I want are just not long enough.

So, I stayed up later than I should have and then was woken up at least 5 times by the baby, before he was woken up by girls fighting in the hallway at 7am. Needless to say, I got up on such the wrong side of the bed (I needed to be sent back, and would have gladly went) and so annoyed and grumpy.

I just wasn’t ready to see any of them yet (how ugly is that?!) let alone be ordered around and asked for 4,757 things. Josh asked why I was being crabby at everyone and as I said it out loud I knew I sounded ugly. In the moment though, I also felt justified.

I have to ask forgiveness a lot these days. Thankfully like The Lord, my little people are quick to forgive me. All things big and small are handled so much better when my perceptive is fixed on Christ and the importance the gospel plays on even the mundaneness of my days as a mother. But, that can be so very hard some days.

Sometimes, it’s Ugly

Messy Love |